Fashion and Empty Love: Who Said Behaviorism Doesn’t Work?

(Stark room, one chair facing panel desk with four chairs, though no one is sitting, Girl #9 is front of the single chair, Screening Room Security General in front of the desk facing Girl #9, while three lackey, mongrel looking men are behind the desk dressed in uniform, the one on the left has a lazy eye)

Screening Room Security General:

Well, it is nice to see that you are interested in your appearance. We were becoming worried that you would walk around with saggy bottom pants forever.

Girl #9:

There was something about the original suck that put me off. I have come to find comfort in the way I can no longer release.

Screening Room Security General:

Good to hear, good to hear. We are always quite pleased to see a girl of your age come around. Usually by this time, their hair has been frazzled by constant electric conductivity inquiry and their hobbies have been reduced to throwing entire slices of bread at squirrels as opposed to the more appropriate, yet ever somewhat unsettling, tradition of throwing crumbs. This is very pleasing indeed (circus clown grin that is commonly understood to frighten small children).

Girl #9:

And about the boy…

Screening Room Security General:

Yes? What about the boy? (provokingly)

Girl #9:

His string of um…(looking for the right word) showmanship? (not a good enough word and she knows it) Not as offensive as previously thought? I mean, he goes to the barber every week and has been for some time.

Screening Room Security General:

Why he’s not an issue at all (same circus clown smile, we see the huge horse teeth this time). The boy’s packet is incomplete. No references, can you imagine? (gesturing as if such a thing had never been heard of) And you know what that means, no surface. Only subsistence. He didn’t seem too upset though, he went on talking of the failure of the bell curve just the same. But you young lady, what progress! In no time we will have you entertaining (exhibiting the excitement he feels Girl # 9 should be feeling). What do you think of that? I am sure that you will find it to be much easier, now that passion is a thing of the past.

Girl #9:
I was thinking (modestly, mouse-like, or whatever comes more naturally)… I was thinking of trying something with heels, makes conversations conclude quicker, at least that’s what I have heard from the girls up top. We’ve been practicing in the halls at night and have found that taping our toes together makes them easier to step on.

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